Are we GOOD ENOUGH?
"It's easy to love yourself when you feel good enough, when you feel special enough, when you're loved enough, when you have enough money, and you're appreciated." ~ Debbie Ford
Are we good enough? This question haunts every one of us and even if it isn’t apparent in our day-to-day life it comes up every now and then, when we are undertaking new project that seems to be entirely out of our element, or when it’s time to face reorganizing our closet and pick up clothes scattered all over the floor of our living space.
Why are we getting overwhelmed by simple tasks like cleaning our wardrobe? Why is it so difficult to keep an orderly space? Because our mind is already overwhelmed by our daily stresses and we keep convincing ourselves that “tomorrow” we will be stronger enough, better than today, and have the energy to tackle those monsters and put them back “under the bed”. Where they will stay hidden until we need to face them again, the next time.
In most cases our mental state shows its face within our immediate surroundings. If we feel overwhelmed mentally it won’t be any surprise that we won’t have any “strength” to deal with mundane things like cleaning, cooking, never mind other more energy consuming tasks.
Some people get into action and deal with difficulties head on. Others, who’s inner self is lacking validation of being “enough”, struggle with things. There is no easy way of breaking through that “ceiling” other than realizing that this is what holds us back from our own full potential & greatness, from realizing our deepest dreams and desires.
We are extremally good at pretending that everything in our life is perfect. Until we cannot hide things anymore and they spill out of control all over our living room, closet floor, or our workload. Then, some of us will start feeling guilty or assume that they are a disappointment to their loved ones and the inadequacy or unworthiness ingrains deeper in our mind. That's how we create a pattern that repeats itself over and over again. Leaving us to believe that we are worthless, useless, no good for anything individuals who in comparison with our popular, motivated, achievers’ friends are just simple … yes, you got it – losers!
I wish we were as good at advocating for ourselves and be open to ask for help when the going gets tough, as we are at blaming and putting ourselves down. I swear, sometimes we say things about ourselves or our lives that makes my skin crawl. WHY? Because when I hear those harsh words of criticism and negativity, it makes me wonder, how in heavens are we ever going to get out of that rut we are putting ourselves in, if we cannot even say a decent word about ourselves? How are we going to get strength that is within us, if we do not give ourselves any credit for anything and only focus on failures? Besides, who said that our lives need to be a string of continues successes and great accomplishments?
The Rome wasn’t built in a day and it took many years of sweat and hard work to make it into an architectural gem as it is. We wouldn’t know our own strength if we didn’t encounter any challenges along the way. We wouldn’t know how deep are the resources of our unlimited potential if we were getting everything handed on a silver platter. It would not be fun to go through life without pride and joy of getting where we want to be without trying.
In 1879 Thomas Edison created a successful incandescent light bulb, working three (3) years and perfecting it, repeating his experiments over 3,000 times. Yes, we went a long way to improve the lightbulb and save the environment since 1879 invention, but who knows when we would have the first lightbulb if he didn’t have a determination and did not try 3,000 times? Imagine where would you be if you had to try everything for that long? Obviously, it would not be fun, but sometimes three years is a small chunk of time if we look at the baggage, we carry with us since our childhood. So, give yourself a break and be kind to yourself. Do not get on the merry-go-around criticizing everything that does not instantly pan out for you. Do not discourage yourself from trying again and finding strength that can help you conquer the world if you chose to!
“We are stronger than we seem, smarter than we think and braver than we believe.” (A.A. Milne) We just need to give ourselves a hand and allow it to come to the surface. There is no shame in trying and failing and trying again and failing better. But there is a huge reward in trying and being able to succeed! So, do not look at the posts in social media, of those who use Covid as the opportunity to learn new skill, new language, discover new hobby or go places that you cannot, while shaming others for not doing exactly that. Focus on one step of your OWN journey at a time and be proud of finishing the laundry on Friday and freeing your weekend to enjoy the walk with the dog or to play the board game with kids.
Life is not a competition! Each of us has our own beat and we need to focus on that, instead of comparing ourselves to others and diminishing our own great accomplishments, no matter how small or insignificant they may feel to others. Life is hard enough and you, out of anyone, deserve to be your own biggest supporter and cheerleader. “You as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect.” (Gautama Buddha) I don’t think you cannot summarize it better than that. So, be kind to yourself, have a goal, focus on it and make attempts to get where you want to be, supporting and cheering yourself on along the way. Be grateful for all experiences and you will find your journey rewarding.
With Love and Blessings,