Change, the Secret Ingredient of Life
I love spring, summer, fall and winter. Each of the seasons has different aspect that makes me want to get up in the morning with a huge smile. Spring is obvious – it wakes the nature up from its frosty and cold brake, bringing color, longer days, sunshine, and warm temperatures. It is this crispy air with cooler mornings and hot middays that promises something happy, and brings an invitation for taking walks in a breeze. Summer is my favorite, because I love long days full of fragrances of many flowers and fruits growing everywhere. Even in spots we don’t expect to see them. With buzzing bees, busy birds, and animals raising their young. Fall is charming me with its rich colors that change the landscape, bringing an illusion of a different part of the world arriving for a short visit. And winter brings all sorts of outdoor activities that I really enjoy (like skiing, skating, and tobogganing). It would be impossible to enjoy each of those things I grew to love if the seasons didn’t change. And it would be really boring if we only had one season all the time. That’s why I guess people look for a variety when they go for holidays, or search for a dream spot for their cabin, or vacation villa.
Why is it that when it comes to making personal changes in our lives we tend to have such a difficult time? Why do we despise change in the workplace, in our relationships, in our circumstances? I will tell you why. It is because of FEAR. When we grow up we learn from our environment. Each and every experience we have is recorded in our mind, and its role is to protect us from harm. So when the unfamiliar shows up on the doorstep we have panic attacks, doubt is whispering in our ear and makes us question our decisions, and the belief system we formed by the age of 7 is bringing full blown fear to warn us about anything NEW. Automatically our defence system is up, showing us all the hard, unpleasant, and difficult case scenarios. Projecting more work for us, and for what? We want our own, known, tried pair of shoes that fit perfectly and do not give us blisters. We want our “old” boss who does not require extra effort or creativity. We want the known and learnt, that guarantees that we are not going to be worse off.
But what would you say if someone decided that we all have to exchange our hi-tech cell phones for the “ancient” bricks of a phone from 70-ties, which required 2 meters long antenna and a briefcase to carry it around? Who would want that? Or what would you do if you had only one outfit, and had to wear it for the rest of your life? Or were allowed to eat one type of food your entire life? Can you imagine that? Honestly, I can’t. And picture those Ferrari owners who would have to go back to the first Ford car that can be checked on the display at Heritage Museum. Not cool, right? I know. So why do we give in to those fears initially and become so resistant to change?
Because … we rarely examine our beliefs. Yup, I do not believe that every fear you have is your own. I bet you picked it up from your parents, or siblings, or someone who influenced you at that time when you incorporated it into your life. Those fears definitely serve as the safety buffer, and are meant to protect us from harm. But they also prevent us from having much greater experiences than we are having right now. How many times have you actually resisted something that later you saw as a “blessing in disguise”, or a “silver lining”, or that it actually turned out to be a better thing after all? Technically the majority of us don’t like taking risks. We are set in our ways and don’t like change. We'd rather be stuck with a jerk of a boss than look for a better place to work, where we could be more appreciated, valued, and have a stress free environment. Simply, because we don’t know if the next boss is going to be better or worse one. But if you looked at your skill set and decided that you are worth more, that you had a bigger potential than what you were able to realize at your current place, or that you would get better benefits, wouldn’t it be worth at least trying?
I guess there is never any guarantees that things you engage in are going to benefit you more, or are going to bring better results. However, if you are not willing to examine your beliefs before you are tested on your coping skills in a next challenge of your life, you will either be pushed to the end of your proverbial rope or have no other option, but to start looking for other alternatives. And what if there was actually a way of making those changes less painful or more bearable? Would that be worth trying? Think how much your peace of mind is worth to you? What would you pay for having a balanced life, harmony, energy, and no fear? Think again and decide if making change in your life is worth it.
So many modern time sages say that our thoughts create are beliefs. But if you apply the awareness and examine them, they can be as easily changed for ones that work for us. And if you realize that this was your mom’s belief (or dad’s, grandma’s, or husband’s) than try acknowledging it and send it back, if it doesn’t suit you and your life. Simply say to yourself: “Thank you for bringing it up, but this is not my fear. I’m sending it back to my mother. It’s been hers all along.” I know it sounds crazy, but effective does not always have to be complicated. And in many cases isn’t. As long as you have the awareness and evaluate what‘s coming into your mind, you can either accept it or not. And if you focus on the desired outcome, once you send your fear back to its place of origin, you will feel like the weight was removed from you.
So think if investing in your well-being - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health is something you could do. See how those blockages are affecting your life, your self-esteem, happiness, your motivation and productivity. Calculate what you are losing right now and do the math. If your fear is holding you back think about the benefits you may receive, and take a risk. Think about it - we change from the very first moment of our conception. It is a secret ingredient of Life. Embrace the CHANGE and learn to improve your life or find a proven modality that will help you in that process.
They are “out there”, available for anyone. “Think as if your life depends upon it, because it does!” ((mith, Harry Douglas (1965) The Secret of Instantaneous Healing New York: Parker Publishing Company, Inc., p 24).
“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”- Carl Jung
